I am not an engineer or biologist or accountant or computer scientist or lawyer or psychologist.
I worry that I am not those things. Admittedly, I have been worrying about it for the last few months (the kind of worry that you leave to fester at the back of your mind, because you assume you still have the time to leave things at the back of your mind).
I worried about it as I wrote thousands of words on a comparative essay on documentary styles (cinema verite, direct cinema, reflexive modes…) that no one else outside of film school would care about.
I worried about it as friends who were graduating the same time as me got jobs (an actual job-job, the kind involving formal clothes and work emails and dress shoes that pinch and lunch meetings over $30 main courses) within weeks of finishing their degree.
I worried about it as I scrolled through endless posts on job sites, most of them asking for qualifications and experiences I didn’t have. Can’t do this, can’t do this, can’t do that. Don’t even know what that is.
But I am starting to realize that it is okay that I am not any of those things.
I’m realizing that I was made for something else altogether, and just because this “something else” isn’t a 9-5pm job and a minimum 60K salary straight out uni doesn’t mean I’m going to live a life any less extraordinary or meaningful.
I’m still trying to figure it out, and every day I’m trying and learning to move my focus from what I can’t do to what I want to do.
And you know what? Every day those dreams are becoming a little clearer, and the list of possibilities is getting increasingly endless, and “All the Things I Am Not” is becoming “All the Things I Can Be”.
