There’s thousands of songs about the moment of revelation. About the instance when perspective shifts, when the hidden becomes unveiled, when the darkness turns into light: Suddenly I see, this is what I wanna be…; And at last I see the light, and it’s like the fog has lifted…; I can see clearly now, the rain is gone… It all seems to be connected by this huge universal search where everyone, in their own individual and every day stories, is waiting for the fog to lift and the rain to go.
Before I wax too much poetic, I only say that because I spent a lot of this year in the fog. I wanted to find the light, but at the same time, I was still hiding under the covers. Most times, it’s easier to just stay hidden - to poke your eye out from underneath every now and then to squint at the light, then go back under until you think you’re ready to be awakened. But sometimes the world doesn’t wait for you to feel ready - it rips your safety blanket right off in one swift move.
Needless to say, in the past few weeks, things have happened that feel very much like my covers have been ripped away and the curtains have been pulled open for the light to come in. It’s like the feeling of being woken up by your parents on a Saturday morning when you want to sleep in. The first few seconds are confrontational and unbearable and you try to shut your eyes as tight as possible and hope you somehow find your way back to sleep.
But the sunlight streaming in niggles at you. The promise of the day beckons you and says, “Wake up now.”
And when you do… It’s an amazing day to be had, with not another second to be wasted.
I have been awakened. The fog has been lifted.
I’ve been getting a lot of “Are you okay?” questions the last few weeks. My answer has mostly been “Not really, but I’ll deal,” so it was great to finally say this and mean with all my heart: Yes. I am okay.
More than okay. I said that I felt light. Featherlight. I couldn’t think of any other term to describe it. I’ve felt like dancing for no reason for the last few days, and it’s a pretty amazing feeling. There are people that have let me down over the course of it all, and while part of me wants to blame and gripe and criticize, for the most part, all I want for them is to feel like dancing too.
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiney day…
I want to take them dancing in the light with all our eyes wide open.
-
stefaniesays posted this
